One of the most striking cultural shifts I found from my time living in Denmark, was how children play. Having experienced my first year of motherhood in the UK, along with my entire childhood, switching to the Danish way of parenting came with a lot of letting go.
Heights
Firstly, enter the Danish playground. There aren't parents hovering by small children, helping them up climbing frames, ready to catch them if they fall. They are left to it. Older children help the younger ones while parents kick back and relax, some even reading a book.
It's the same principal at kindergartens. When my oldest child started kindergarten (børnehave) aged nearly three, there was an enormous slide outside that she couldn't wait to try.
I was told that children could only use the slide if they were able to climb up the ladder to get to it themselves. So each day, my daughter would try to get to the top. She would stumble, she would fall, and she would get frustrated. No adult would come and help her up (except to hug her after a fall). But with months of perseverance and the encouragement of the older children, one day she got to the top. The joy of that slide and the continued pride she had in how she could use it, lasted years.
Adverse weather
Adverse weather is not something you hear about much in Denmark because "there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing" (Der findes intet der hedder dårligt vejr, kun dårlig påklædning).
It really does take gale-force winds to stop small children being taken outside to play, or babies napping in prams outside. My daughter's kindergarten had posters on the door to reinforce what outdoor kit was needed for each season. Every child had a peg and box for spare clothes, there was a heated room for wet clothes to dry and it was expected, even encouraged, for children to sit in mud and puddles and get messy.
@metrouk What life is like at a Danish Kindergarten ?? The Danish approach to early childhood development has a focus on play, relationships and outdoor activities. The Nordic tradition is called ‘Broström.’ ?: winnianneprivatpasningviborg #children #kids #kidsoftiktok #kidstiktok #danish #dane #denmark #denmark?? #fy #fyp #fypシ゚viral #fypage #kindergarten #nursery #preschool #preschoolteacher ♬ original sound - MetroUK
When it came to having my second child in Denmark, I quickly adapted to outdoor pram naps. Many cafes and baby groups don't allow prams inside so I had to quickly get used to relying on the portable monitor to tell me when she woke. She'd be surrounded by other babies sleeping in prams, sometimes in a designated pram parking area. People walking by knew this was the drill and if they noticed a baby stirring, they'd signal this to the parent. There is an innate trust that sleeping babies are safe outside.
READ MORE: How to dress your child for the cold, wet Danish winter
Fire
With so much time outside, is quite common to find nurseries and kindergartens in Denmark with fire pits. Singing around a fire or toasting bread (called snobrød) is a popular childhood activity. There isn't a huge fear that a child is going to fall in, not even the toddling two year-olds, so you'll often just find them hovering around open flames, sometimes with a knife.
Knives
Children are taught early on, at daycare and at home, to use sharp knives. They are carefully supervised at first and then trusted they know what they're doing and amazingly, they do.
@loudexpat Danish school is SO much more relaxed and non-competitive than school in the States. Kids are way less anxious and stressed. Less organized activities to make your child a prodigy and more self-directed play. I’m realizing why the people are always voted so happy ❤️. Starts in childhood with much more freedom, trust, safety, indepedence, relaxation, coziness and risky play (where they might cut off a finger ?). They also don’t wear shoes inside and get to wear comfy slippers in the winter. Now if only it wasn’t dark and rainy for half the year ?. #expatkids #danishschool #americanexpat #americanexpats #copenhagenlife #copenhagenlifestyle #happykids #school #schoollife #schoollifefun #schoollifelove #happyschool #happyschoollife #europeanlife #europeanlifestyle #amerianschools #americankids ♬ The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy) (Live 1970) - Simon & Garfunkel
Animal dissections
The children can then go on to use these knives to dissect an animal if they want.
This is what my children did at an outdoor Christmas event. The theme was: Come pick your Christmas tree, chop it down yourself, do a spot of Christmas craft and then watch a deer being skinned and pluck your own pheasant.
Public dissections are relatively common in Denmark and seen as educational. There are often dissections at zoos, with some provoking worldwide media attention. But many Danes see animal death as more of a reality than a tragedy. At the Christmas event we went to, my children didn't bat an eyelid.
Trust
Trust is the foundation of Danish society. It is this trust that allows parents to leave their babies napping outside, their children to have freedom and independence from an early age and to take risks. It is why some nurseries and kindergartens don't even have locks on the door (my children's included) and why many school playgrounds don't have fences or gates.
When you live somewhere like this, it rubs off on you. You relax into it, knowing society has generally got your back.
Then you start to see that the risks Danes allow their children to take maybe aren't so risky after all.
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