I found myself in a different country, a country with so many great opportunities. So I did what every 20-year-old with free time and a messy love life does: I downloaded Tinder.
To my friends, I said “I probably won’t meet anyone”; I told my mom “don’t worry, it’s just a social experiment to meet the locals!”. I told myself I was going to have as much fun as possible without getting too many feelings. I was completely wrong.
The Danes are beautiful, and they are everywhere. In the future, when people ask me what the best thing about Denmark was, I will have a lot of trouble deciding if it’s the great bread or the men in black turtlenecks.
I’ve fallen in love on the train, picturing some kind of love story at a distance. I’ve purposely sat in front of very good-looking guys at the university library only to then complain that I couldn’t concentrate. I’ve fallen in love on my bike, then almost literally fallen – I guess you’re not a true Copenhagener if you haven’t gotten dangerously distracted by some impossibly handsome person.
Over the last few months, I’ve met a few guys. There have been both ups and downs. I decided the best way to make use of all the experience I’ve had in my time here is to share it with the world. So here it goes… This is what is like to date the Danes.
Every date will be a language lesson. I’ve learned how to say “kartofler” (potatoes), spent hours trying to pronounce “skildpadde” (turtle), been laughed at whenever I say which neighbourhood I live in (it shouldn’t be that hard).
Danish is such a difficult language, and you’ll find yourself asking your significant other “what were you talking about?” a lot in social gatherings.
But in my opinion, Danish is also a very sexy language to hear: there’s something about those øs and unpronounceable sounds that just gets me.
Danes are sweet and caring. They remember stuff you’ve said a long time ago, and they ask “How has your day been?” a lot. They will bake bread for you in the morning and say goodnight with a cute emoji every night. They will ramble for hours about subjects they believe are relevant. I’ve had long chats about politics and hour conversations about dogs.
There will also be lots of wine because that’s how socializing is easy. The first date is usually “let’s go for wine”, rather than the usual beer. And even though they hate the idea of dating, they are very good at choosing locations and turning each occasion into an adventure.
I also find it great that this is a society where men don’t necessarily offer to pay on dates. I’m very happy to pay for my own things – that’s until someone took me to a very fancy rooftop bar and I paid 220 kroner for our drinks.
Even if all they want is a one-night stand, they will make the effort. This is a tricky one: it might lead you to believe they actually want something else, but keep in mind that they probably don’t. When commitment hits the door, Danes have a tendency to run away.
If you do decide to go for the one-night stand, expect great things. Danes tend to be very experienced and dedicated when it comes to sex. Most of them have been doing it for a long time and know all the tips and tricks.
But at some point, you will get hurt, so get your heart ready. You might be dumped for an ex-girlfriend that was just around, you might be ghosted, you might be broken up with because “this is too much for me”.
Heartbroken, I once found myself crying in my favourite porridge place when I saw a couple sharing a bowl of oats. They just looked so effortlessly happy, while I sat rereading a “hope to see you again soon” text from a relationship that didn’t make it.
But when all of this happens, remember hygge! Give yourself some time on your own to reset. My process was the following: lighting up some candles, getting a cinnamon swirl, (another amazing thing about this country is the pastries), going back on Tinder, and dying my hair blonder. Needless to say, I’m as blond as sunshine now.
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