The dating battleground can be a fierce, unrelenting and savage arena, and Denmark is by no means an exception, especially when it comes to non-Danes trying to woo Danish women. As an expat, you may have naively left the airport with a sense of safety that the years of honing your irresistible charm will be enough to navigate the minefield of finding love in Denmark. You were most likely wrong.
If dating and love are literally a battlefield, you would be strictly following the Geneva convention while that lovely Danish woman has no problem with a little bit of chemical warfare.
Whilst this may be a slightly exaggerated metaphor for dating in Denmark, there are some unwritten rules in the land of the Vikings that seem to have become ingrained into their psyche. So here are some tips for making it out alive and a few bits of advice that will help you stand out from the crowd.
1. Don't approach women at bus stops
Don't even think about it. Photo: Gareth Williams/Flickr
This particular piece of advice actually applies to most public places, unless alcohol is being consumed (by both parties). While it may have been quirky and charming to go up to a beautiful girl doing her weekly shop and try and spark up a conversation in your home country, if you do so in Denmark you may be seen as completely insane. So not only will you not get the girl, you may also be sectioned, and that is what is universally known as a bad day.
Work that magic. Photo: Glenn Loos-Austin/Flickr
3. Don't pay for everything, but pay for a few things
Dating a Dane can be a little lighter on the wallet. Photo: Dan Nicholas/Flickr
4. Don't rush anything
Take a break from the messaging. Photo: Timothy Krause/Flickr
5. Be yourself
No car? No problem. Photo: Ed Shipul/Flickr
One of the most noticeable traits about Danish women, and Danes in general, is that they aren't too fussed about your financial position. Just because your bike is a hand-me-down and your shoes aren't designer doesn't mean you are out of the running. Most Danish women prefer honesty, compassion and a little bit of excitement over a sports car and a mansion. So don't try and big yourself up too much and as the cliché goes, be yourself. Unless you're a horrible person.
Danish women can't resist a badly pronounced rødgrød med fløde, it simply sends them wild. You will go from being a slightly grumpy, a little podgy and kind of balding expat to being as irresistible as a cross between a baby Shih Tzu puppy and Brad Pitt circa 1996. OK, maybe not quite, but they will appreciate you attempting their ridiculously difficult Danish language and a little bit of effort goes along way.
If you can pronounce this sign properly, she may just need to use one. Photo: Derek Yu/Flickr